Do We Need Wedding Vows? If Yes, How Do We do It In Style?

Indian weddings are by far the most colourful, vibrant and high-energy weddings across cultures.  This is not only because they are rich in culture and ceremonies but also because they are so contemporary and we take everything into consideration – from outfits to ideas to details borrowed from other cultures. Anything that adds to this cozy little tale called a “wedding” gets our vote because I am ’emotional” like that! nikita-karan-cocktail_30-copy

Picture courtesy: Aditya Mendiratta

Lately, the trend has been to adopt elements from different wedding cultures into the Indian scene. One of the things, I wish I had incorporated at my wedding is the vows. Vows are beautiful and very romantic – all those nice things the couples promise each other in movies had me at hello. Blame those rom-coms and those handsome heroes dishing out amazing lines to their loved ones. Seriously, they’ve spoilt things for the rather staid Indian wedding. Indian weddings have so many elements of rituals but no vows. Yes, our 7 vows are relegated to us walking around the fire and the panditji, Imam, priest does ask you if you want to marry the boy / girl and all you can muster is a big yes. But there is no chance to actually express and share your feelings about your spouse, the journey ahead, the expectations etc. Here are ideas on how to incorporate the vows at your wedding without trying too hard. Because honestly, our ceremonies are already laden with things to do and vows are too cool for school to not include them.

What are wedding vows?

Wedding Vows are personalized promises couples make to each other. So think about the expectations you have from each other, the life you both want and write it. Keep it short, sweet and set a romantic tone to it.

Who says these vows?

Vows are romantic when both the bride and groom exchange them. There is no point in just one of you writing your vows so discuss this idea with your partner ahead of time.If both of you are on board, go for it. Wedding vows will take your wedding to the next level not only for the couple but the guests who hear it too.

When do you have to say your vows?

Usually, at wedding before you go ahead with your pheras.  Specially in inter cultural weddings, couples are ditching the rituals and just saying the vows instead . But if you still want to stick to tradition, make it a separate adventure at the Sangeet / Cocktail. Let’s face it you will not find a better time to read your vows. Traditional weddings in India are long and filled with rituals. They are also pretty chaotic because of the number of guest. So try to read your wedding vows during the cocktail or sangeet, these ceremonies normally have a smaller crowd, close family and friends.

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How do we go about reading our vows?

Get creative: If reading vows is too cheesy, then add a pinch of drama and dance into it, after all that is what makes shaadis so much fun. People proclaim love through old hindi songs but if you want to add a few lines or read some shaayari or poety – totally up to you. * no pressure!

Prepare a medley of songs: Dance to it or sing it to your spouse. You can even have the groomsmen and bridesmaid participate too. This will keep your guest entertained and still conveys the message to your to be spouse.

Just flat out write your own views: It can be a bit embarrassing – but if it’s earnest, it will be awesome. Cheesy, but honest and beautiful.

Where do we put these vows?

Write them down. No matter what, write down your vows! You have enough to worry about during the wedding. Memorizing your vows shouldn’t be one of them. Plus, if you write them down you can save them in a box or frame them to create a lovely memory.

Do have any other questions about wedding vows? Ask away!

 

Note: First published on Wedmegood.

Pictures courtesy: Wedmegood